Two Posts In 2018??

Me again,
I've gone from a twelve month break to two posts in two months, record breaking, right?

So I turned 21 last week, I had a 'small' gathering with my closest family and friends and celebrated on a Sunday afternoon in the best fashion possible. There was plenty of food and alcohol, the perfect recipe for a Sunday afternoon.

I was extremely overwhelmed by everyone who made the weekend so special for me, you know who you are. It was an unfamiliar experience being surrounded by so many people in my life all in the one room. I lapped it up and enjoyed every second of it. 

I finished my second last semester of university today, 12 weeks left of schooling and I am shipped off into the real world.

After having experienced this feeling multiple times over the last few months, I always brushed it aside. I told myself comforting things like 'everyone gets nervous,' or 'you're a stressed person Claire, it's just who you are.'

It wasn't until today that I was sitting in a cafe revising my exam notes sipping on my iced latte and untouched banana bread, that I realised I couldn't write properly because my hands were shaking so violently. My chest felt tight and I was struggling to release a deep breath. I laughed it off with my friend commenting on how nervous I was for the exam, which at the time I thought I truely was.

During the exam few hours later, I was still struggling to write (future apology to my lecturer marking my exam, good luck reading over my writing, because I sure as hell couldn't.) Telling myself it was just the exam stress, I walked out of the exam expecting to feel relieved however the deep panic in my stomach was still there, as was it sitting with me the entire train ride home, the walk to my car from the station, even now hours after.

I feel as if I have lost my appetite almost completely, I cannot concentrate for long periods of time, I'm anxious. 

I feel anxious when I have no reason too. I am experiencing the separation from someone (extremely dramatic but you get the picture ya know) and I feel as if there is next to nothing I can do to fix this. I am anxious. 

I am anxious for things that are out of my control and that stresses me out. 

I am a permanent stress human, however this I feel is slightly something else. 

I am now on a 7 week break from uni, I am about to embark on a journey back to Europe for the third time and I couldn't be more excited. I will be studying in Paris for a few weeks and finishing up in Spain and Portugal, because why not?
Will check in soon, hopefully on a better note. 

Claire Louise x

The Birth of NOVELLA

*Inserts drum role please* 

After weeks of drawn out planning and slaving away, ladies and gentlemen we finally did it!!

I ultimately and officially have a new blog which I am so so proud and excited for what is yet to come. 

Novella (meaning a short novel or a long story) is a place where I intend to share a corner of my life on the internet. 

From quirky cafes, thrift shop bargains or the impulsive and occasionally unnecessary Sephora trip’s; I wish to share this with you all. 

A massive massive shout out to my dear friend Daina for this beautiful drawing! How talented is she?!?! 

(I am going to try this thing where I tell you guys I will be posting once a week, maybe more depending on my schedule and I hope to swear by this and actually stick to it.) 

Stay with me guys, I’m just getting the hang of this blogging universe. 


Claire Louise xxx

Big First Day!

So today was the big day. The last first day of high school I will ever have to attend to. It was so full on and overwhelming for a Friday. 

It begun with an entire school assembly which was run by myself along with the other six college captains. Then throughout the day was filled with information, lectures, reuniting with familiar faces and jumping up and down to the fact we were put with friends in certain classes. Something kicked in however, hours after school ended, this year is going to be a BIG year.

So whilst I begun my final year of school to a level of contentment, here I was working at my part time job after school, realising that there is one more year left of high school, that is it, I will not be returning to this school next year. All of the friends you have made, the lovely teachers who have helped you along the way and shaped us as people, they are all going to be a memory. 

My advice that I cannot stress enough to everyone is just try your best this year. 

- Try your best in your studies. Create a goal now that you wish to aim for and work your butt off until you get there. When you are head set, you are mind set.

- Try your best to make sure you are always smiling. There will be crash moments, many of them, but just keep smiling, as I was told today, the sun will always rise and the stars will always be there, no matter what happens.

- Try your best to make friendships with those who you never thought you would befriend. Who knows, they may be there for your when you have no one.

- Try your best to however also keep your friendship groups this year despite the frantic studying. They may frustrate you, and you may not be invited to all of their endeavours, but they are your friends and you respect that.

-Try your best to continue your regular hobbies, continue your sport games, and your dancing. Read that book that you have been saying, 'I'll get to that when I have time.'

-That leads me to finish off by saying, always make time. Nothing is ever too important to take a step back and breathe. In the end, the score or mark you receive at the end of high school does not define you as a person. 

We can do this!

Claire Louise xxx

Trevi Fountain Experience

Stop and take a breath.
Release all negative feelings and take in the serenity.
Look ever so carefully at your surroundings, this may be the last time you return.
The water falls off the architecture, you begin to feel something different.
The noises around you simmer, speech is irrelevant.
Look up.
Believe in the breeze and free your mind.
Crowds of people circle around wanting to capture this moment.
When the moment of bliss arises,  you turn your back, facing the tongues of different cultures.
This brings a smile to your face, you clench your fist a little tighter, knowing momentarily it will be gone forever.
You raise your hand, over above your head.
Close your eyes, think of nothing else.
You begin to countdown in your head 3,2,1
Release the tension in your hand, let go of your fears.
The universe is now in control.
You hear the little drop into the fountain.
It's time to turn back around and face the mystery.
The water is still.
Like anyone else, your dream has fallen into the pond of mist.
All that's left is hope.
The hope for you to return one day.
The hope to change your life.
The hope that whatever you paused for, will bring you peace.
It's time to leave now, you take everything in for the last time and finally, you release that breath, turn away and never look back. 

Claire Louise xx