Monday, 4 June 2018

Two Posts In 2018??

Me again,
I've gone from a twelve month break to two posts in two months, record breaking, right?

So I turned 21 last week, I had a 'small' gathering with my closest family and friends and celebrated on a Sunday afternoon in the best fashion possible. There was plenty of food and alcohol, the perfect recipe for a Sunday afternoon.

I was extremely overwhelmed by everyone who made the weekend so special for me, you know who you are. It was an unfamiliar experience being surrounded by so many people in my life all in the one room. I lapped it up and enjoyed every second of it. 

I finished my second last semester of university today, 12 weeks left of schooling and I am shipped off into the real world.

After having experienced this feeling multiple times over the last few months, I always brushed it aside. I told myself comforting things like 'everyone gets nervous,' or 'you're a stressed person Claire, it's just who you are.'

It wasn't until today that I was sitting in a cafe revising my exam notes sipping on my iced latte and untouched banana bread, that I realised I couldn't write properly because my hands were shaking so violently. My chest felt tight and I was struggling to release a deep breath. I laughed it off with my friend commenting on how nervous I was for the exam, which at the time I thought I truely was.

During the exam few hours later, I was still struggling to write (future apology to my lecturer marking my exam, good luck reading over my writing, because I sure as hell couldn't.) Telling myself it was just the exam stress, I walked out of the exam expecting to feel relieved however the deep panic in my stomach was still there, as was it sitting with me the entire train ride home, the walk to my car from the station, even now hours after.

I feel as if I have lost my appetite almost completely, I cannot concentrate for long periods of time, I'm anxious. 

I feel anxious when I have no reason too. I am experiencing the separation from someone (extremely dramatic but you get the picture ya know) and I feel as if there is next to nothing I can do to fix this. I am anxious. 

I am anxious for things that are out of my control and that stresses me out. 

I am a permanent stress human, however this I feel is slightly something else. 

I am now on a 7 week break from uni, I am about to embark on a journey back to Europe for the third time and I couldn't be more excited. I will be studying in Paris for a few weeks and finishing up in Spain and Portugal, because why not?

Will check in soon, hopefully on a better note. 

Claire Louise x


Monday, 30 April 2018

2018 Life Update

Undoubtably last year I found myself in such a strong and positive atmosphere.

I found myself travelling to 11 different countries, something I had never imagined myself to do so young. I made life long friends whilst travelling, ones that have impacted my life forever (soppy I know.)

I received such positive results from uni. I actually enjoyed what I was learning. I was so invested in achieving high marks that I completed assignments a few days before it was due - which was a big thing for me wow. 

Not only that but I found myself most happy at an internship I applied for, working with a start up company called Project Gen Z. This social enterprise company works closely with teens in Melbourne and Cambodia, allowing them that access to 'Dare to Dream' mentality and think like an entrepreneur.
Not only was it my first dabble in dare I say a 'real job' for me, but it was a City job, something which I had always envisioned getting once I completed high school.

Tomorrow is the 1st May - Almost half way into 2018 and I somewhat feel empty. I am in the time in my life where it is acceptable to experiment and try new things.

I feel lost, I suppose. I am struggling to find my feet and discover who I am. My friends are all doing such incredible things, I am so proud to be standing beside them to cheer them on. 
Myself on the other hand, feel so lost on this earth. Lost at who my friends are, lost at what my purpose is. Last year was such a high for me, I don't know if I'm stuck comparing it or just disappointed on how I feel I have downwards spiraled.

I have been reading so many motivating books, one of them whom wrote a chapter about finding your purpose and your reason to be on this earth. I do believe that everyone was put on this earth for a specific purpose, may that be to teach a certain student, meet and influence that one girl or to create art for a community, whatever it may be I believe we are all here for a reason... when I figure out my reasoning I really cannot wait to explore all the possibilities. 

I haven't touched base on this platform for well over 12 months now. Feeling so lost and down at the moment, I remembered Novella and felt a tug towards updating it, the good and the bad, I'm still here. 

If you're reading this, thanks for sticking through this rant, much love. 

Claire Louise xx 

Thursday, 5 January 2017


There is no denying Paris to be one of the most culturally captivating cities in the world. Featuring beautiful landmarks and sights all over town, it is almost impossible not to fall in love with the city in just a few days.

The Parisian night life was lit up with Christmas decorations, creating a homely feel throughout the streets. 

Although we did not eat like the Parisians and dare to try the likes of snails or frogs legs, we did devour some kick ass crepes from across our hotel called La Crème de Paris which were AMAZING. The line to order was always outside the door, and holy moly was it worth freezing our toes off for.

Wearing more layers than I thought possible, exploring the streets of Paris was so daunting yet rewarding at the same time.  Only does the language barrier become an issue, when a panic sets in after asking 'parlevu englais' and their reply is negative. Let me tell you the stress levels trying to book a train ticket out of the country speaking a complete different language to a women behind a window... 

Macaroon's in Paris, let me tell you... if you are ever about and want to walk down the street of shops in which you may never be able to afford, I highly recommend scrambling through your coins to find that lose change to devour in a macaroon from Laduree's you WILL NOT REGRET!  

(The one and probably only time this yellow scarf will EVER make an appearance throughout this journey... ima just say yellow wool sticks to black jeans like GLUE)
If I can recommend ANYTHING whist there, I need to say, Disneyland Paris is an absolute MUST.

The inner child will thank you for it trust me. You can most definitely spend all day here surrounded by rides, parades, famous Disney characters and Christmas music played loudly throughout the park. Snow was falling throughout the day, making not only our hands freeze off but  the park looking a little extra magical.

Four cold and snowy days in Paris was more than enough time to live like the locals and explore the town, would most definitely recommend the city to anyone travelling in the winter.

Claire Louise xxx

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